- Europe, USA, and ASIA Passed New Law that makes Pay-To-Win Games Illegal – ALL GAMES ARE FREE!
A big announcement from the Chamber of Law and Commerce has arrived today. The officials of the United States, Europe, and Asia have all agreed that pay-to-win games suck. In fact, paying for games suck! No more will our hard-working gaming communities have to pay for any games. All games are made free from today and the companies and developers which sold any copy of any game or any in-app purchase in the last 10 year will have to refund the funds to the original account it was sent from.
This step is said to make the world a better place as gamers all over the world are already gathering to send all those funds and proceeds to charity, to help feed the hungry and buy them gaming consoles.
- World of Warcraft MMORPG coming to mobile
News from Blizzard came in today, on April 1st, that their heavy hitter World of Warcraft is coming to mobile devices. This has been in the world for even before the game was originally released, back in 2004, and it is absolutely true. We’ve also checked and found info that PTR is available for mobile WoW community, which so far consists of SMS texting and players announcing to one another which skill they will use and how much damage/healing it does. Bliz is thinking about halting this project for obviously players have been abusing this mechanic that solely rests on the honesty of the player, which is an urban myth since Alan Turing was in grade school.
- New Kitten MMO dropping today – Fur of Purr: The Annihilation
Claws ‘n’ Paws Incorporated, one of the world’s leading developers and publishers of games that feature cats, has released its biggest game yet – Fur of Purr: The Annihilation. The game features 12 different cat breeds so far, each with its own set of abilities and stats. We do not have any gameplay footage so far, but it is rumored that Siamese Cats are Priests with strong healing abilities, while British Shorthair cats are best for melee combat. Persian cats are said to be imbalanced at dealing damage so far, so the developers are promising hotfixes almost immediately. In-game purchases will be included and the players will have to serve their cats as slaves in order to keep using their abilities in combat.
- Mr. Gaming-Verse Competition
Today, April 1st, 2019, also marks a big day in history as the very first MR. GAMING-VERSE COMPETITION will be held in Korea, the capital of Esports…all will agree. In fact, Mr. Universe competition has been canceled from now on, with the explanation that it promotes an unhealthy body image standard among the people of the world. Also, all fitness and fashion presentations are to be held entirely in the privacy of the models and designers and will be kept safely away from the public. It is said by the World Psychology and Wellness Organization that these manifestations promote spending money on useless crap, spending valuable gaming time in the gym, instead of playing video games, and materialism above all.
- The New Law in the USA Prohibits people who do not play video games to have children
The American Health Organization and the Center for Population Control have decreed today that if a person does not play video games it should not leave any mark on this world, what so ever. In fact, people will not only have to play the games but they will have to be able to:
- Beat the original Super Mario Bros. on Sega in under 20 minutes
- Beat the current Korean Starcraft champion in a game of – Who can Eat More Hot Dogs – (USA citizens are already setting new records)
- Beat the entire Resident Evil 1 on Hardcore by using only a knife and one hand for holding the controller
It is said that this method will weed out people who only pretend to like video games but in truth are noobs and don’t know anything about nothing. Also, it will promote the growth of a new world order, where video gaming will become the most important activity in the world, right next to talking about video games and streaming them.
All these statements on April Fools Day are absolutely true and are to be taken as the new religion.