BitLife – Life Simulator Review


BitLife – Life Simulator by Candywriter, LCC, is the fourth game by this developer. Like the others, BitLife Simulator is strange and quite peculiar in its gameplay and approach but seems to capture the audience quickly. The game features a blunt but powerful sense of humor with probably the best use of irony in a video game ever. Plainly speaking, almost everything you plan and attempt in this game will fail, but you will laugh about it in the end…so, just like life.

Candywriter, LLC

If we carefully examine the Candywriter website, we determine its sole purpose is to point us to the company’s Facebook or Twitter page. If we go there and seek info about this company, it says they are located atop the Bermuda Triangle shores, in a tower. They claim fun is in their DNA and, well, I am starting to believe it. They do say the company is founded in 2006 and that they are into various apps and stuff. Besides BitLife – Life Simulator online video game, Candywriter, LCC, is also behind such Apps as Word Therapy, Letter Soup, What’s the Difference? Spot it, What’s the Pic?, and What’s the Saying? Riddles and Brainteasers. So, plenty of presumably interesting and fun games developed ‘out of the box’ let’s say.

BitLife 16+ or 17+

– Parental Advisory, Explicit Content-

It is important to note that BitLife – Life Simulator Android app has a 4.6-star rating on Google Play from over 77 thousand votes, which is impressive given through the game is 16+. The BitLife App Store has a 4.8-star rating from over 419 thousand votes, so quite impressive. It was also voted #2 game in Role Playing and has overall very positive reviews, but the age limit is moved up to 17+. The game definitely deserves its R rating for it does feature foul language, descriptions of explicit scenes, and even engaging in illegal actions.


What’s the story in BitLife – Life Simulator online game?

Well, the gameplay IS the story in BitLife Life Simulator online game, for the entire interface system consists of textual display. Similar to the old school text-adventures that were popular in the ‘90s, this game is based entirely on its story, and the player has the entire control.

In short, you begin as a newborn baby and life your life as you develop into a grown human being. You are free to make your own choices as you see fit from the options and paths available in the game. But, do not worry, this is anything but a linear game, as the player is free to choose any path available. Everything goes and there are no wrong choices and answers, like life itself.

Furthermore, the game’s storyline choices presented to the player and their outcome pretty much sum up real life and mirror it nicely. You may affect your choices and destiny, but in the end, fate has the last word. If all this sounds confusing, do not worry. Wait until you hit puberty, that’s when real hell begins.


BitLife – Life Simulator – Review of gameplay mechanics

The gameplay mechanics in BitLife online mobile game are the core of the entire experience. You are born and you are presented with an interface that contains your basic info, like age (0) place of birth, some trivia about how you were conceived, and date of birth. This is where BitLife’s virtual life already begins throwing rocks at you, as you may just be an accidental conception. You may be conceived during school lunch by two minors who just wanted to try out something way out of their age limit.

You have the following commands available:

Occupation – where you choose three main career paths to go on. While you are a baby or a toddler, these options won’t be available and it will just say “Infant” as that is your only job, being an infant. But, as soon as you reach the age of 6, you can enroll in primary school. After you are 18 years old, the choices in this option are as follows:

  • Education – where you can choose to pursue it and enroll in a college or a university of your choosing, like business school, law, medical, veterinary, and others. Here is where you will also be given an option to study harder, once you are enrolled.
  • Jobs – instead of pursuing education, in BitLife – LifeSimulator you can also go for a job, like a physician, electrician, reporter, and stuff like that.
  • Military – and, finally, you can join the navy, army, marines, or other units.

Assets – here is where you check your material goods and net worth. You will have these options:

  • Cars – you can shop for a car if you don’t have one and have enough money
  • Real estate – shop for real estate

Relationships – here is where you will be able to check and interact with people in your life, like your parents or romantic partners.

Activities – here you will be presented with choices to go to the doctor’s office, become a criminal, emigrate, meditate, and many other activities.

Age – This is the most important button, as this ages you for a year. Based on your choices and settings, stuff will happen. The fun in BitLife – Life Simulator begins when things go wrong, like in real life. You may want to kiss someone, but end up not liking it. Or you may even be imprisoned. Like in real life, BitLife online will give you an unbiased and unscrupulous taste of life and the destiny’s sense of irony.